


A Happy-ish Kind of Blue

by writedrunk_editsober



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bisexual Kara Danvers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Honestly I'm just working through some stuff and fanfic seemed like the way to do it, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lesbian Lena Luthor, POV Lena Luthor, Pining Lena Luthor, Sad and Happy, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, drama club au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-01-25 09:28:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21354016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writedrunk_editsober/pseuds/writedrunk_editsober
Summary: Years later, when Lena thought about this moment, she’d be surprised by what details were lost to time. Had Kara’s hair been up or down? Curled or straight? Had she been wearing her glasses that day, or had she abandoned them somewhere in the auditorium? Lena wouldn’t be able to remember. Instead, what stood out was one, single thought.Blue. She looked beautiful in blue.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/James “Jimmy” Olsen (briefly), Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 16
Kudos: 67





	1. Her First

**Author's Note:**

> Longtime lurker, first time poster. Be kind, y'all. This is my first fanfic, and I'm mostly just using it to reflect on some Major Life Issues while also celebrating our favorite superpowered ship. 
> 
> This fic will extend past high school and into Lena and Kara's adult lives. Can't promise a happy ending, but I can promise lots of fluff (and possibly some smut) on the way to wherever we end up.

Lena would always remember the first time she saw Kara Danvers. It was freshman year, and Lena had been forcibly dragged to drama club. Not that Lena had anything against theater; the Luthors had been donors to the Metropolis Performing Arts Center for years. Lena’s mother, Lillian, always insisted that the purpose of philanthropy was networking, but she’d also hired the cast of _Suessical_ to perform at Lena’s 9th birthday, so Lena suspected her motives weren’t purely business-oriented. That said, there was a difference between _going_ to the theater and _participating_ in it. But Lena’s college counselor had said that extracurricular activities would strengthen her application to MIT, and team sports were dangerous and barbaric and _obviously_ out of the question, which is how Lena found herself standing in the back of the Metropolis High School auditorium, trying not to look bored while a pimply sophomore named Jared babbled to her about lighting cues and gobos.

  
It was two weeks before the premiere of the winter play, and the auditorium was bustling with activity. Students were painting, gluing, and assembling props and costumes at the fringes of the auditorium, while Mr Lewis, the drama teacher, attempted to conduct something like a rehearsal amid the bustling chaos. Lena had signed up for lighting crew, figuring that her experience fiddling in her father’s lab would give her a basic understanding of the work involved. But she hadn’t expected it to be this basic. She watched two girls dart by with boxes of costumes as she tuned back in to Jared’s monologue. 

“...so most of our Source 4s take the same lamps. If one burns out, you can find the 575 volt lamps—“

“Watts.”

“What? The Source 4. That’s the light mounted to my right, it—“

“No,” Lena sighed, watching another gaggle of girls pass by with costumes. “The lamp. It’s measured in watts, not volts. Though it’s probably rated for voltage too.”  
Jared paused and looked at the spotlight in his hands. “Oh. Yeah. Huh. How’d you know that?”

Lena could have told him that she was currently in AP physics, even though she was just a freshman. She could have told him about the summer her older brother Lex taught her how to build a basic wheeled robot with a light sensor. She could have mentioned that she’d attached a solar battery to the robot and programmed it to be light averse, labeling it the “Existential Self-Exterminator” and leaving it around the house next to windows just to watch it power up and scoot out of the light until its battery died again. Lex had laughed and bought her a copy of Nietzche before he left for college. Two years later, Lena still didn’t understand nihilism, but she could do all sorts of things with some wire and a soldering iron. But Lena was here to show future colleges she was a team player, not to show off, so she just shrugged and gave Jared a tight smile. “Google,” she said.

“Cool! Well, Google, let me know if I slip up again. Or since you’re a girl should I call you Siri?” Jared laughed at his own joke. Lena did not join him. “Okay, on to gel colors...”

Lena tuned Jared out again and went back to looking around the auditorium. The five girls that had previously brushed by her had piled the costumes in the first row, and were now sorting clothing in the dim reflected light of the stage. Lena could just make out a flash of sequins and a barely-hushed giggle as they sorted the costumes and occasionally posed with the more garish ones. Lena felt a twinge of loneliness for a moment, wondering what it would be like to be part of that group. Her father had always told her that Luthors were leaders, not joiners, but watching the girls joke together in the near dark, Lena couldn’t help thinking that joining something wasn’t the worst thing a Luthor could do.

“And this is how you change the focus.” Jared’s voice snapped her from her reverie. Lena heard the _thwip, hummm_ of the spotlight coming to life as Jared opened the shutter, unleashing a focused beam of light that shot across the auditorium into the center of the group of girls and onto the back of a very blonde head.  
Years later, when Lena thought about this moment, she’d be surprised by what details were lost to time. Had Kara’s hair been up or down? Curled or straight? Had she been wearing her glasses that day, or had she abandoned them somewhere in the auditorium? Lena wouldn’t be able to remember. Instead, what stood out was one, single thought.

_Blue. She looks beautiful in blue._

Lena watched, awestruck, as the girl in the spotlight turned. She’s been caught mid-spin, and completed her turn with a laugh, shielding her eyes from the light with one hand. The movement caused the dress she’d been holding up to herself to fall slightly. It was an old, taffeta thing that looked straight out of a John Hughes movie, but the color was a soft blue that Lena knew, as if by instinct, matched the girls eyes. She watched as the faraway girl waved to them.

“Hi, Jared!”

“Hey, Kara!” Jared yelled back.

The drama teacher, still mid-rehearsal, whirled around onstage. “Miss Danvers, Mr. Lucas, could you kindly save socializing for _after_ we finish?”

“Sorry, Mr. Lewis!” Jared shouted. He shuttered the spotlight and powered it down. Lena watched as the girl--Kara Danvers--turned back to her friends and buried her face in the dress to muffle a laugh.

“Anyway,” said Jared, “that’s the basics of how the lighting works. We’ve already hung most of the lights, but we still need to focus and add color before tech. Actually, Google, you could help us there. There’s this color that we’re using for the ballroom scene, and it’s blueish but also a little gray? But mostly just light. That’s what we’re going for with that scene. Something light. A happyish kind of blue.”

Lena watched the girl across the auditorium do one final spin for her friends before laying down the dress and picking up another costume. “Cerulean.” Lena said. “The color you’re thinking of is cerulean."


	2. Of Closets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Kara finally meet, though it's not exactly cute. But who hasn't been discovered in a closet by their almost-crush, am I right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I change Kara's audition song four or five times before posting? You bet I did! Kara and Lena's feelings about musical theater are very much their own, except for Evita. That is an awful musical. Kudos & comments are very much appreciated (unless they're about Andrew Lloyd Webber).
> 
> Made a lot of progress in life and writing, so this fic will update weekly on Wednesdays.

The first time Lena _ met _ Kara Danvers, she was actually hiding in a closet. In the future, the irony of the situation wouldn’t escape her. However, in the moment, as the door swung open and a flood of light exposed her, all Lena could do was flinch and try unsuccessfully to hide behind a mop.

“Oh!” Lena heard. She looked up. The blonde girl from the auditorium was standing in front of her, looking about as surprised as Lena felt. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize anyone was--I just spilled some paint and I was looking for--I’m sorry. What are you doing in here?”

Lena had just enough time to clock the fact that the auditorium girl’s eyes actually _ were _ blue as she flailed around, grabbing for something to explain her presence in the closet. The mop was closest, so she thrust it towards the door. “Mop.”

“Sorry?” The girl blinked at her.

“Mop. For the paint. You can… mop it,” Lena finished, lamely.

“Oh, thank you! I think I should probably just grab some paper towels though. I mean, I spill a _ lot _ so Mr. Lewis makes sure to keep a couple rolls of of--here they are!” As the girl chattered on, she leaned into the small closet, brushing against Lena as she reached above them towards the shelf of paper towels.

The space was small and Lena wasn’t used to physical contact. She leapt back, letting out a very un-Luthor-like yelp when her head collided with a shelf of Windex.

“Omigosh, are you okay?” Towels in hand, the girl turned her attention towards Lena, stepping back and staring in concern as Lena turned several shades of red. 

_ Her forehead crinkles when she’s upset. _Lena’s brain managed eke out. She seemed to have lost the power of speech, though. Maybe she’d died of embarrassment when she hit her head, and this was all an elaborate fantasy being conjured by her subconscious in her last seconds on earth. If so, Lena thought, her subconscious seriously sucked.

“Wait, were you hiding in here?” the girl asked.

“Yes,” Lena sighed.

The girl brightened. “Because of auditions? Were you planning to audition for the spring musical today? I totally understand. I get nervous too. Hence, y’know, paint spillage.” The girl gestured to the paper towel roll in her hand.

“Ah.” Lena breathed out, rubbing the back of her head. She knew she was dazed, but she generally thought of herself as a decent conversationalist. This girl—_this_ _situation_, Lena corrected herself—was just overwhelming.

“Okay, that’s no problem! I was super nervous the first time I auditioned, too. Do you want to hang out with me until you feel comfortable? You can help me clean up the paint.” She waggled her eyebrows and held up out paper towel roll.

“Sure.” Lena said, grimacing slightly. A Luthor hiding in a closet and speaking in monosyllables. Her parents would be so proud.

“Great! I’m Kara, by the way.” Kara stepped further back, making room for Lena to exit the closet, which Lena did, tentatively, blinking owlishly in the light of the school hallway. The two girls paused. “And you are…?”

“Lena. Um, Luthor. Hi,” Lena said.

“Wait, you’re Google? You were on lighting crew for _ Cinderella _last semester! Jared told me all about you,” Kara beamed.

That stupid nickname. Lena thought she’d escaped it when the winter show ended. Apparently, nicknames, gossip, and glitter all stuck to you in drama club. “Yes, that’s me.”

“Wow, Jared _ could not _ stop talking about how smart you are. He also said you’re quiet--actually, I think the word he used was ‘blunt’--so I totally get trying to hide in a closet during auditions. But I really like _ Brigadoon _, y’know? Old fashioned gender dynamics aside. I think the show’s sweet, don’t you?” Kara babbled as they made their way to the auditorium. “Are you really in AP Physics? Can you tutor me in math? Answer the second question first.” 

“What? Oh, um yes. I mean, physics is mostly math, so I don’t think it would be that difficult...” Lena trailed off as she followed Kara into the auditorium. While the pain of hitting her head had receded, Lena couldn’t shake herself from her daze. _ Kara knew who she was. _

“Great!” Kara beamed again. Kara seemed to do that a lot, Lena thought. Nobody could be that smiley all the time, could they? Lena followed Kara to the side of the stage, past a bored looking music teacher playing on a banged up piano while a sophomore mangled “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina.” They found the paint spill in the wings offstage right, guarded by a very frustrated-looking upperclassman.

“Kara!” the girl stage-whispered as soon as they came in sight. “What the heck took so long?”

“Sorry, Alex. Just making new friends.” Kara gestured behind her, where Lena was failing to make herself invisible again. “Alex, meet Lena Luthor, aka Google. Google, meet my sister, Alex.”

Lena caught herself rolling her eyes at the nickname just as Alex did. _ Huh _, Lena thought.

“Nice to meet you, now can we clean this up so Mr. Lewis doesn’t flay us alive before we get a chance to audition?” Alex asked, grabbing the paper towel roll from Kara.

“Sure!” Kara chirped, kneeling to grab some paper towels and swipe at the mess of white paint. Lacking anything else to do, Lena knelt down too, ripping off some paper towels from the proffered roll and dabbing ineffectively at the blob.

The three worked in relative silence, mopping up the paint while the girl onstage finished murdering 16 bars of Andrew Lloyd Webber.

“I’ve always hated that song,” Lena muttered as the last chords died away.

“Me too,” Kara said, beaming again. Lena felt something flutter in her stomach.

“A science geek with taste in musicals?” Alex teased, faking indignation. “Lena Luthor, you have unsuspected depth! What’s a brain like you doing in a joint like this?”

“Well, really I just needed the extracurriculars,” Lena squeezed out, staring at the paint as she dabbed. “I don’t even really like singing, but it’s Lerner and Lowe. My mother’s favorite, actually. I thought maybe she’d… but this is a little too much, I think. Maybe drama club was a mistake.” Lena glanced up to see two sets of eyes staring sympathetically at her.

_ They may not look much alike, but they do look at you the same way, _she thought.

“Luthor, Lena?” A voice called in the auditorium. “Lena Luthor, your audition is next.”

Lena blanched. She shot up, paint-filled paper towels in hand, and looked for another closet to duck into. Unfortunately, none was immediately available. She was just about to make a break for it--people had sudden onset stomach flu, right? She could fake that--when she heard Kara step out of the wings behind her.

“Mr. Lewis? It’s me, Kara. Can I audition in Lena’s place? She’s helping me clean up the spill from earlier.” Lena turned to watch Kara hold up her paint-stained hands to the stage lights.

A pained sigh echoed from the back of the auditorium. “Alright, Kara. Show us what you’ve got. Just try not to run into anything while you’re doing it.”

Kara smiled nervously. Lena watched as she smoothed her hands down her slacks, spreading the paint in two white lines down the front of them. Kara walked over to the piano, whispered something to the teacher, and walked back to center stage. There was a pause, then the piano began to play the opening bars of "There Are Worst Things I Could Do."

Lena sucked in a breath as Kara’s voice drifted through the verse. _ Of course she sounds beautiful. Of course she can sing, _Lena thought to herself. She listened to her new friend as something hopeful and heavy settled under her ribs. 

Lena didn’t end up auditioning that day. But she did stay in drama club.


	3. Game Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena learns more about Kara and herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how's everyone doing after the last Supergirl episode? Here's some soft Lena to compensate. I hope this eases your heart a little bit as we wait on the next episode.

Over the next few weeks, Lena assembled a list of observations about her new friend Kara Danvers.

Kara—like Lena—was adopted. Her favorite food was potstickers and her favorite color was blue. Her least favorite subject was math, even with Lena’s tutoring. Kara hoped to play Rizzo in _ Grease _ some day, even though everyone else said she’d be a perfect Sandy, but ultimately she wanted to be a teacher or a firefighter. Kara’s birthday was September 22nd, which made her a Virgo, if you paid attention to those kinds of things. (Lena didn’t, but the way Kara said it, with a wink and a knowing laugh, _ almost _ convinced her it would be worth it to do some research on the subject. _ Almost_.)

Kara also had a boyfriend. His name was James, he was tall and broad shouldered, and she’d met him the first day of freshman orientation. He was supposed to be on the football team, but had joined tech theater instead, and now he and Kara were the poster couple for the drama club. Lena had met him a few times and been genuinely surprised by how kind he was for somebody so jock-ish, but her heart dropped to her stomach every time she interacted with him, so overall she tried to avoid James and the confusing feelings, if only for the sake of her stomach.

Of all the data that Lena collected on Kara, though, the most important was that when provoked, Kara was very, very stubborn. Which was how Lena found herself hurrying to third period with an indignant Kara Danvers on her heels.

“But Lena! It’s Friday! What on earth could you be doing on a Friday that’s more important than _ game night? _”

“It’s a school night,” Lena argued as she darted past two sophomores and around the corner to the next hall.

“It is _ not!_” Kara huffed, following her. “School nights are the nights before a school day, and Saturday is not a school day—unless you’re taking weekend classes, in which case you’re _ amazing _ and I’m not really all that surprised, but even super geniuses need a break every now and then.”

Kara’s rant was interrupted by the warning bell. Lena paused and sighed in frustration. She turned to Kara.

“Fine, okay, you caught me. I don’t have anything to do tonight. If I say ‘yes,’ will you let me get to class in peace?”

“Of course,” Kara chirped.

“Then yes, I’ll come to game night,” Lena said, turning on her heel and hurrying down the hall. She was in such a rush, she almost missed Kara’s delighted squeal.

\--

That afternoon, Lena paced her room, trying to work out how to bring up Kara’s invitation. What she’d told Kara was true; she really didn’t have anything to do that night, but she also wasn’t used to making requests like this to her parents. Not that they had explicitly forbidden her from doing so, but they were busy with work and philanthropy, and likewise made sure Lena’s schedule was packed with academics and extracurriculars and the occasional family-approved benefit, so there just never seemed to be time for anyone in the Luthor family to have a personal life. It wasn’t something Lena had questioned before, or even thought much about, but now that the opportunity to spend an entire evening with Kara was in front of her, she was suddenly terrified her parents would say no.

Lena waited a full hour after she heard Lionel and Lillian arrive before she emerged from her room. There was a gala tonight, she knew, which meant her parents would be getting ready separately, so Lena could divide and conquer. She tiptoed down the hall, past the bedroom, until she found the door to the study. Lena took a deep breath and knocked.

“Mmm?” came a muffled voice from inside.

“It’s me, Dad,” Lena called, opening the door.

“Lena!” Lionel said happily as she crossed the threshold. “I didn’t even realize you were home, Princess.”

Lionel lounged in a tuxedo behind the large oak desk that dominated the room. Lena stepped closer to, breathing in the smell of leather and pepper that always seemed to hang in the air around her father. As she approached, Lionel moved some papers to the side of the desk and poured himself a scotch. “How’s school, Princess?”

“Good. Boring. I think I should have taken AP Calculus this semester like Mom suggested,” Lena responded, running her fingers over the stone lion figurine on the desk. 

“AP Physics not enough work for you?”

“I mean, they definitely assign enough homework, but it’s so basic, Dad. We’re doing an introduction to circuits this week. An _ introduction. _I had to help Stacy Ruiz make a potato lamp in class,” Lena huffed.

“Well, I can’t say I’m particularly surprised that you’re bored, but I don’t think adding more work would have been the solution. You should be having more fun, Lena. Socialize more. Preferably with someone whose last name isn’t Luthor.” Lionel drained his glass. “Come here, Princess. Help me with my tie.”

Lena took a breath and walked over. This was her chance. She fiddled with his tie for a moment, catching Lionel’s eye then dropping it nervously as she said, “Actually, I was invited out tonight.”

Lionel feigned shock. “Like a date? Is my baby girl going on dates with boys?”

Lena laughed awkwardly. “No, Dad, ew. A friend from drama club. She’s having a game night at her house. I was hoping to go.” She finished the knot and smoothed the tie, looking up.

Lionel was looking at her softly, something appraising behind his green eyes. “You’ve made a friend at school,” he said. “What’s her name?”

“Kara,” Lena replied, flushing awkwardly and stepping back. 

“Kara,” Lionel repeated. The name hung in the air for a moment. Suddenly, Lionel stood, pouring himself another scotch and jovially saying, “Of course you can go to Kara’s game night! Just don’t drink anything, or if you do, make sure you get a ride home from someone sober. You can always call me.” He sipped his scotch.

Lena rolled her eyes. “Dad, I’m 15. I’m not going to drink.”

Lionel laughed. “You are the best of us, Princess. Now, how do I look?”

Lena was about to respond when her mother briskly entered the study. “Lionel? We’re about to be late.”

Lena didn’t miss how her father‘s jaw clenched slightly. “I know Lillian. I’m ready.”

“No, you aren’t—hello, Lena,” Lillian acknowledged as she brushed past her daughter on her way to Lionel. “Your tie looks terrible.” She undid and rapidly retied Lionel’s tie as Lena inched her way towards the door.

“Lena got invited to a game night by some school friends tonight,” Lionel said. Lena froze.

“Is that so?” Lena turned to see her mother eyeing her coldly. “But it’s a school night.”

“Technically, school nights are the night before a school day,” Lena heard herself say. She clamped a hand over her mouth in shock as Lionel snorted. She was definitely going to get grounded.

Lillian narrowed her eyes. “Hmm. Homework done?”

“Yes,” Lena responded. 

“All of it?”

“Everything that’s due by Monday.”

Lillian paused for a beat. “I already told her yes,” Lionel said quietly to his wife. Lillian glanced at him, recognizing the threat in his tone. Lena held her breath. 

“Fine, but you’re home by midnight and you don’t drink anything harder than soda.”

Lena barely restrained a shout as she hurried out the study.

“And Lena?” Her mother’s voice followed her down the hall. “No boys!”

—

By the time her parents left Lena barely had an hour to get ready. She bolted downstairs into the kitchen, throwing together the ingredients for brownies and popping a tray into the oven, before rushing upstairs and changing clothes and hairstyles at least four times. Eventually, she settled on a loose ponytail, a pair of nice jeans, and an oversized Metropolis High School sweatshirt that Kara had given to her earlier in the week. She was just debating changing her outfit again when the timer for the brownies went off, so she rushed downstairs and pulled them out of the oven just in time to hear her ride drive up, honking. Lena tossed the cooling tray of brownies into a tote bag and ran outside to see Winn Schott, a sophomore from drama club, idling in her driveway in a beat up Honda Civic.

“Lena, hey! Kara said you needed a ride. Did you make brownies?”

Less than twenty minutes later, Lena stood outside the Danvers house with a tray of brownies in her hand and butterflies in her stomach. Kara’s mom, a beautiful woman with a kind smile named Eliza, answered the door, and explained that the kids were all downstairs. The way she complimented Lena for making brownies made Lena feel both embarrassed and warm, so she murmured her thanks and bolted down the stairs as Winn stayed behind to chat.

The basement was a riot of noise and hormones as ten teenagers spilled out of two overstuffed couches and some scattered chairs set up around a coffee table covered in games. Lena spotted a side table against the wall with some snacks, and was just about to make a break for it when she heard, “LENA!” squealed above the din and saw Kara pop up from the couches, James in tow.

“I didn’t expect you to make it! Winn said he’d pick you up but then he got lost and didn’t—oh my gosh, did you make brownies?” All conversation was derailed as Kara saw the tray.

“I—yes.” Lena said, overwhelmed by the greeting.

“Everybody! Lena made brownies!” Kara turned to the group, which immediately let out a cheer. In the corner, Alex coughed something that vaguely sounded like “suck up.”

“Come come come! I want you to meet everybody!” Kara gushed. Lena faltered as Kara squeezed her into a hug. “I’m so glad you made it,” Kara beamed before leading her back to the group.

After introductions, all of which Lena was sure she forgot, everyone settled in for the next game. Kara burrowed back into the couch, leaning on James’s arm, and patted an open spot next to her that Lena was far too nervous to take, opting for the floor by Kara’s feet instead. Winn eventually made his way to the basement as well, setting himself up to Lena’s right with a brownie and a soda in hand.

The next three hours were a blur of competition. Winn won Settlers of Catan, but Alex stomped everyone at Jenga, wiggling her fingers at a junior named Maggie as she declared, “I’m good with my hands.” As Lena got more comfortable in the group, she loosened up, eventually winning Ticket to Ride twice—“As is proper,” Lena noted playfully, “since the Luthor family heavily invested with Leland Stanford in the 1860s”—before losing her streak to Winn in a surprisingly violent game of Egyptian Rat Screw.

It was the most time Lena had spent unobserved since she could remember, and it should have been perfect. She couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t. Periodically, she glanced up at Kara, trying to gauge her friend’s reaction to the highs and lows of the games, but all of Kara’s attention was taken by James. The two cuddled together on the couch, whispering and flirting in their own world in the middle of the chaos. Lena ignored them, successfully for the most part, she thought. After ceding her title to Winn, Lena again turned to Kara, only to see her locked in a kiss with James. Lena only had a moment to stare at the two before a pillow hit them with devilish accuracy from Alex’s side of the room. “Gross, you two! No PDA at game night!”

Lena pushed the swooping feeling in her stomach away as she turned back to the game. She frowned, trying to gather herself, only to see Winn studying her. He sighed and looked up. “It’s never fun having a crush on someone who doesn’t like you back,” he whispered to her. 

Lena followed his gaze to the happy couple, currently laughing as Kara tossed the pillow back at her sister. Lena looked first at James, and then at Kara, whose hair had come undone from the force of the pillow, causing wisps of blonde to come loose in gentle tendrils around her face. Lena took in her laugh, her messy ponytail, her hand on James’s thigh, and felt that heavy thing in her chest crack open with yearning.

Oh. _Oh_, thought Lena. _Oh no._


	4. Let’s Be Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena tries to research How To Lesbian. Awkwardness and pop culture references ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter this week because the holiday forced me to cut this chapter in two. Apologies for the delay, but have a happy thanksgiving if you celebrate, and please enjoy the awkward baby gay bumbling through early 2000’s pop culture.
> 
> #istandwithmelissa

Above all else, Lena considered herself a scientist. So, with the revelation—the  _ hypothesis _ —that she had a crush on Kara, Lena threw herself into research. A quick literature review proved informative for her initial observations. She did feel a rush of warmth when Kara was present, indicating elevated levels of serotonin. She noted involuntary responses like blushing and a faster heart rate when they made eye contact, which could be the result of her endocrine system releasing adrenaline. After a few weeks of observation, Lena had to admit that Wynn was correct. She did have a crush on Kara. 

The next step, of course, was what to _do_ about that crush, and it was here that science proved frustratingly unhelpful. Most of the studies she read were descriptive rather than prescriptive, describing the effects of her crush rather than how or whether she should act on it. Lena tried turning to social sciences, but most sociological and anthropological studies on the subject were about LGBTQ social dynamics. And while Lena was coming to terms with the fact that she was probably gay, she didn’t think there were enough other gay people at her school for them to be considered social, even if she was right in her hunch about what Wynn had actually been confessing at game night.

So Lena had no choice but to turn to pop culture. First, she tried gay fiction, but every fictional lesbian she came across seemed to either live in San Francisco and debate politics, or else live in the past and end up miserable, and neither option appealed to Lena. A footnote in one of the sociological studies she’d read led Lena to a TV show called _The L Word_ which Lena was surprised to discover was available on Netflix. She moved the first season to the top of the Luthor Family DVD queue, then hid it under her mattress for a week when it arrived. Lena chose a night when she was sure her parents were away at an event, then turned the TV volume as low as it would go and watched the episode through her fingers, squirming with embarrassment for the entire episode. Though she told herself that it was in the name of science, she couldn’t maintain any kind of professional detachment when adults—_attractive lesbian adults_—skinny dipped and had sex in a neighbor’s pool. So that was the end of that experiment. Lena returned the disc and scrubbed the DVD queue of any evidence of her foray into Showtime, and resigned herself to being clueless about the feelings that threatened to overwhelm her. That is, until Lena blundered into the middle of an argument between the Danvers sisters. 

It was the week before finals and the halls were buzzing with frenetic energy. Lena was on her way to lunch when she overheard the unmistakable sound of Kara and Alex bickering.

“—and you cannot tell me that leather duster doesn’t smell. He probably sleeps in it!” Alex was telling a very upset Kara and a slightly bored looking James.

“He does not! He has other clothes! Angel is actually very fashionable,” Kara huffed. 

Alex waved Lena over. “Google, you’re smart. Settle something for us. Do you think Angel and Buffy should end up together?”

Lena stared at them. “I... I’m sorry, I don’t know who that is.”

Alex laughed as Kara gaped. Even James looked surprised. “Holy crap, we stumped Google!” Alex crowed. 

“How have you not seen _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_?? It’s the best show on network television!” Kara exclaimed. “Even James’s sister thinks so!”

“Actually, I think she said ‘gayest,’” James replied. “‘Gayest’ show on television.” Alex laughed. 

“Well since your sister is gay, that’s like the same thing,” Kara responded. James shrugged. “Anyway Lena, I can’t believe you haven’t watched it! What have you been watching instead?”

Lena blushed, thinking of skinny dipping lesbians. “Just some stuff for research. My parents don’t really like if I watch too much TV.”

“But this is so much better than regular TV!” Kara cut in. “It’s smart and it’s well-written and it’s very mature, even though it’s aimed at teenagers, and it has a big love story, and—“

“Lesbians,” Alex said, grinning.

“Well, yes,” Kara replied, “though not until later seasons, but that just shows how mature it is! Lena, you have to watch it with me. I have the first season on DVD.”

Lena felt her protest die under the dual forces of Kara‘s excitement and the promise of later season lesbians. “Sure,” she replied, meeting Kara’s grin.

That Friday, Kara showed up on Lena’s doorstep with a box set of  _ Buffy  _ and James in tow. If she’d had anyone to tell, Lena would have admitted that she was initially disappointed to have James make an appearance at what she’d hoped would be uninterrupted one-on-one time with Kara. But over the course of the next few hours, between a heated debate about the physiology of vampires and a jump scare that caused James to squeal and spill his popcorn all over everybody, Lena discovered something surprising. She liked him. She watched James jokingly pick popcorn out of her hair eat it, and thought to herself,  _ This is what having friends feels like. _ And somehow, for the first time since she realized she had a crush, Lena felt a little less alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments appreciated.


End file.
